why I don't love misogynistic humor (yet)

Eventually, I might find it pretty funny, but I don't yet. Of course, in the interest of full disclosure, I must also admit that I'm not a big fan of bathroom humor or any other kind that prominently features farting. That doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor, just that my funny-bone wears a filter that's either a leftover from my upbringing or something inherently me. Nurture/nature... maybe both.

But, as to reasons why I'm not (yet) crazy about woman-hating humor...

I'm pretty tired of the whole daddy party vs mommy party name-calling game that the GOP--and their minions-- insist on playing, and of course, it's always the Democrats who are the mommies, and thus, weak and ineffectual, and the Republicans who are the daddies, i.e, strong and competent.

I'm pretty tired of the worst thing that can ever be said about a man by his peers being almost invariably something horribly, disgustingly feminine, like throwing or running or cursing like a girl (not even a woman!).

And I'm even more tired of women's private body parts being used so indiscriminately to describe something or someone considered disgusting and/or weak. So far, I haven't heard about any women's private body parts being used to commit crimes of war or rape, unlike men's. (Okay, so there are some women (tho' very few) who are pedophiles. I took Maddox's test, and got a better than average grade. But, ethnic cleansing still remains a male thing, as does rape of a non-consenting adult.)

Ultimately, there's nothing like having your entire gender identity, or any of its many parts, be considered the ultimate insult or epithet...

Imagine if Shakespeare or Swift or Twain, or Aristophanes (who more or less invented comedy as satire) or any other comedic or satirical genius had decided to write about the people in power making fun of those people with less or little power. Do you think their work would have survived and thrived for so many centuries? What do you suppose history will make of GWB's attempts at humor: "Please don't kill me!" "Some might call you the haves (have mores) but I call you my base!" --and joking about not being able to find those WMDs about which he lied in order to exert his power to wage war?

So, I'm guessing that I'll finally be just about ready to appreciate some woman-bashing humor about the same time that women all over the world are wreaking the same havoc that power-abusing men are visiting upon the world right now, primarily upon women and children, the poor and the elderly. Once that happens, it will definitely be time to poke some good-natured (or worse) fun at women, sort of like Stephen Colbert did last month at the WH Correspondents dinner. Wait, now, that I think of it, most of those powerful people in that audience didn't want to talk about how funny he was... maybe I won't either. If I'm ever that powerful.

Comedy, properly used-- and especially when it is most shocking-- is an antidote to abuses of power and/or ignorance. With so much abuse of power (and ignorance!) running rampant and amok in the world, Maddox decides that's okay to pick on women? Go figure... sure, to a child or a younger man, women might seem to have more power than they actually do, but a real man, i.e., a grownup, knows better, and also knows how to be magnanimous and to show restraint with those who are less powerful.

[An aside: I also live with a man who works at a computer most of the day, but can also fix just about anything, and he's a vegetarian, too, unlike me. Go figure...]


I posted this comment earlier on Salon, in response to this story and the other comments, but without the links.

Connecting the dots...

Not to put to fine a point on it, but...

...because GWB was not permitted to grieve the death of a younger sister, at least 1600 American children must now mourn the loss of a parent. And who knows how many more children will lose a parent before this ill-begotten war has ended?

Update: just one more example of the federal government's lack of commitment to military brats.

What it will take... perhaps more breastfeeding?

A number of women's groups are protesting Elizabeth Vargas's stepping down as co-anchor of ABC's "World News Tonight." I wish them good luck, but I think they may be taking the wrong approach. For one thing, it may be that Vargas actually prefers to step down. But how can we know? Pregnancy, both pre- and post-, is still such an unmentionable in this country-- except when we want to offer unsolicited and unwanted advice to a pregnant woman-- that one wonders how so many women manage to work while pregnant or breastfeeding as well as they do. And then there's the question of how many of us would be willing to run the post-pregnancy gauntlet of millions of critical eyes calculating how many more pounds we still need to lose?

Whether or not ABC is family- or woman-friendly is not enough of a factor, or at least not the only factor, in Vargas or any other woman choosing or being asked to leave a high-visibility job, due to pregnancy or the demands of motherhood.

So, what will it take to change the status quo? In my opinion, more breastfeeding in public would be an excellent start. The day that we can expect to see a female news anchor breastfeeding a baby while reading the news, or running an executive board meeting, etc., is the day we can expect to see women keeping their high-visibility jobs when they become mothers.

I can just imagine the hoots and hollers and jeers, and the uneasy looks about the possibility of obscenity charges (y'know that whole Janet Jackson episode just won't go away anytime soon), and I have to say that compared to the not-so-distant experiments of news readers either being nude or else reading the news while stripping... well, feeding an infant is hardly on a par with that depraved behavior. Yet, breastfeeding women are often expected to pump their breast milk-- or even feed their infant!-- in the restroom. Ewww! How gross! I don't know when you last ate a meal in a restroom, but can you really recommend it as a proper dining experience or environment for an impressionable infant who might learn to associate those sounds and smells with having breakfast or lunch? ...just so that the American psyche's obsession with the naked breast as sex object can be accommodated without inconveniencing anyone over the age of 18 by making them re-examine their values? Really?

[True, a breastfeeding infant is also a reminder of a possible consequence of unprotected sex, but in that case, wouldn't you then expect that this administration would actually get behind the idea of lactating mothers in high-visibility positions?]

We may not be able to do much from the top down for women like Vargas, who may or may not even want such attention. However, from the ground up, we can, if we are in such a position, breastfeed our own infants in public, encourage our friends, coworkers, family members, even strangers, to do the same. It's way past time for a little national desensitization program that would benefit, not just working mothers and their infants, but in the long run, all of us.

image: aunaturelbaby.com [clothes for nursing mothers]

If you need some hope for a reality check...

...check out this site: Republicans for Humility.