Saturday, June 17, 2006


(By The Dromedary Syndicate) Author, commentator, syndicated columnist, one time lobbyist litigator, and all-round Queen Bitch Ann Coulter can add another name to her many titles—Wife. An unnamed source close to the action has revealed the revered-by-the-rabid-right and the lassie-lefties-love-to-hate 55-year-old fascistanista and iconic infotainment artist wed celebrity ex-murder suspect O.J. Simpson in an unnoticed ceremony at a drive-thru chapel in Las Vegas, while on a drunken spree celebrating the success d’estime of her new book, Godless. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his escort of the evening, along for the ride in the rented mirror-windowed black SUV, served as best man and bridesmaid.

"I've fallen in love with a very warm, gentle, understanding and focused person," said the clown princess of rightthinkery of Simpson, who she reportedly met the night of the wedding. "It was love at first sight. A new experience, a new day for me, ebony and ivory—I couldn't be happier!"


Blogger Thursday Next said...

I protest the tone of this post. One of the things that I really detest about those ultra-conservative ideologues is their ability to sling mud and name call without so much as blinking an eye. It doesn't seem right to be doing it here where we are trying to start a dialogue. (I absolutely support your right to write what you choose and yes, I did call Ann Coulter a not very nice name myself.)

3:52 PM  
Blogger Karen M said...

All I can say is, "Tis a pity she's not a bore."

Well, actually, to respond to Thursday, too... I also prefer to maintain a civil tone, and to abstain from profanity. However, I do believe the good doctor has done the same ;~) in this post, unless you are referring to "clown princess of rightthinkery" [wish I'd thought of it] or the fact that he revealed her (fictional/actual?) age to be 55... truly a low blow.

Also, I'm pretty sure that he might have blinked. At least once.

As for being entirely rigid about "tone..." it's going to be difficult to maintain such standards and still give Ms. Coulter the over-exposure she so richly deserves, given that she is best revealed by her own words.

(Future posts forthcoming...)

4:32 PM  
Blogger Thursday Next said...

I was aghast to find out she was 55, not that Dr. Omed revealed it. I'm definitely of the belief that age isn't something to be afraid of or lied about.

5:14 PM  
Blogger Dr. Omed said...

Actually, I used a tabloid article about a female celebrity's "secret" wedding as a template for my parody; mentioning the age was part of the template.

I went to Ann Coulter's own site and could not find her age anywhere in her official bio. Age 55 is pure slander; I made it up.

Tone in parody is problematical; if you wink too much, it's not so effective; if you are completely deadpan some people will take all or part of what you say at face value, and some of that some will be offended; others exalted by whatever truth they feel you've confirmed.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Dr. Omed said...

I think Thursday is perhaps refering to "Queen Bitch," a term of approbation that Ann Coulter does not deserve.

I liked "clown princess of rightthinkery" myself. Crossed images of the Joker and the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. In drag.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Thursday Next said...

Actually, the Queen Bitch tag didn't bother me. I mean I called her a bitch as well.

I'm objecting to the whole tone of gossip rag and things like "lassie-lefties-love-to-hate." But now that Dr. Omed has revealed his sources, I am less offended by his work. It is the tone of the gossip rags that I object to, not Dr. Omed.

As for the slanderous revelation of her age, let's add a couple of years why don't we? I say she's 57!

10:53 AM  
Blogger Karen M said...

Turns out she's only 44, according to an online source I found (IMDB). Oh well, that kind of work can make you seem older than you really are.

I agree with Dr. O; striking exactly the right tone is quite a problem, especially given the different levels of intelligence, and senses of humor, of one's readers.

[Still, I think it's more fun if you aim high, rather than low. Otherwise, why bother?]

One of the things I most appreciate about J Fforde, Thursday, is that he also aims high, in the sense that some of his inside jokes are probably only understood by a few people. But they know they're meant for them. The rest of us (speaking for myself) have to find those online.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Thursday Next said...

I let Jasper think I'm a figment of his imagination ... but who do you think feeds him all that information?

9:09 PM  
Blogger Karen M said...


6:54 AM  

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