Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Some news reports we are simply dying to read...

The Raging Grannies, in a revolting development, are reporting to military bases all over the United States and demanding to serve their children's and granchildren's middle east tours, initally intending to protest the questionable military recruiting techniques that target primarily poor and disadvantaged youths-- but, ultimately, to protest so much more. Think: torture scandals, lack of equipment & armor, innocent civilian deaths, including children, administration lies before during, and, they presume, after the war. The good news? Sales of camouflage in women's sizes soar.

Emily's List and the White House Project combine forces to form a Shadow Government, similar to the European model, but consisting primarily of women, with a few token men... [this story is developing]

Code Pink is planning events that will target men where it hurts: in their wallets and at the stadiums, and not necessarily by making them pay more for tickets. Rumors whisper that brigades of women will take over prominent sporting venues-- holding them hostage-- before important playoff games... disrupting the sport, the betting, and the consumption of beer.

Inspired by The Lysistrata Project, the Women in Black decide to abandon their mourning wear; donning grecian robes, they plan to form "impromptu" choruses on street corners, reciting relevant passages from the comedies of Aristophanes. One member cites Molly Ivins as an inspiration, because of her emphasis on the importance of having fun while freedom-fighting.

Women across the country start brainstorming workshops to plan street theatre events, and acts of civil disobedience to be peformed on a monthly schedule. DayTimer reads the writing on the wall, and collaborates with Google to develop a really good online calendar that intuitively understands a woman's needs.

Women Against the War, having recognized from the beginning that withholding sex in an attempt to stop the Iraq War would be futile, decide instead to withhold child care, leaving men all over the world literally holding the diaper bag.

Hillary Rodham Clinton has been nominated to the Supreme Court, where her judicious temperament, and penchant for consensus, would actually be appreciated. Rarely is the confirmation process a cakewalk. However, Senator Clinton has, during her time in the senate, earned the respect of her colleagues; a highly-placed source hints that she would likely win confirmation.


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